About Face
by legrimm
Summary: Marik tells about something he saw as a child. Something that can't be unseen or explained.


I didn't know who she was. I didn't know how she came to be here. Trapped in this darkness beneath the earth. Trapped with me in a hell I thought I alone only knew and hated.

I saw her as a young child, when big brother Odion had thrown the ball too high and it bounced down a tunnel I had never been down before. Big Brother had offered to get it himself, fearing as always for my safety. My naivety gave me courage, and I ran after it before he could finish what he was saying. The tunnel was dark, without a single torch to light the way ahead of me. I ran with my hands out, feeling for a wall to touch to better help me 'see' in the tunnel. There was no wall. My hands instead grabbed cloth. A warm cloak wrapped around the figure of someone standing before me.

"Dad…?"

No answer. No movement.

"Sister!" I guessed again.

A gentle hand touched mine, still gripping the rough material of the person's clothing. The hand was soft and strangely cold. But it comforted me and I felt unafraid. I had never known the kindness or love of a mother. Ishizu was gentle, but there was an unseen barrier between us that prevented the closeness I craved.  
I felt fingers stroke through my hair tenderly. Overwhelmed by the caress and affection I had never known before, I began to cry. The hands held me securely and I let myself be pulled into the stranger's legs as I wrapped my own around them. I still do not fully know why I was crying. Maybe it was a realization of what I had been denied. There had always been a shadow to any kindness I received. A shadow that hovered behind the act like a bad smell. The kindness itself, the little I saw, was hollow and insincere. Almost apologetic or piteous. And yet here in the dark I found what felt more real than anything I had ever experienced, from this stranger I could not see.

The sound of my brother's calls as he approached snapped me out of my weeping and I wiped my eyes. Those wonderful cold hands that had held me began to pull away, and I felt the solid shape of my forgotten ball being pushed into my small hands.

"Thanks," I smiled, and then remembered it was too dark for the person to see it. But I felt the chilled fingertips on my cheek and knew they could 'see' it.

And they left. I didn't hear the sounds of footsteps or a rustle of a robe, but I felt that I was by myself again.

"Marik! Didn't you hear me calling you?" I turned to my brother who I did not realize had come up behind me.

"What? Oh…I'm sorry, Big Brother. There was—" I stopped myself. For some reason, I did not want to tell him what had happened.

"There was? What did you see?" he asked.

"Nothing." I replied honestly.

"Alright then. Come on, it's almost time for your lessons. Ishizu said you'll be learning about the ancient laws today. That could be interesting, right?"

"Uh-huh," I wasn't listening. I set down my ball and gazed over my shoulder back at the dark, unlit tunnel as Odion led me out.

Later that night, as I lay tossing on my straw-stuffed sleep mat, I thought of the stranger again. I wondered who she was. The softness of the hands and gentility of the gestures dubbed this person a woman in my mind. The palms were not calloused and cracked like those of my father or adopted brother.

I imagined that Ishizu's hands would feel the same way, though she did not touch me very much for me to make any note of sensation. Usually it was never more than a tap on my shoulder to get my attention after my mind had begun wandering whenever she was teaching me the lessons our father had lain out that morning for me to learn. My mind wandered again today back to the woman I had 'met.' She must have a nice voice, I had thought. Soothing like a bedtime song.

Not that he heard those very often. Even as a child, it was rare that Ishizu had the time or energy by the end of the day to lull me to sleep. Father had assigned chores for her and Odion to do even after I went to sleep, so any attention I received from them was always rushed and never put me at ease or quieted my mind.

With an annoyed sigh, I ripped back the sheet covering my legs and sat up. Where does she sleep? I knew where all of the bedrooms were and who slept in them. Father slept in the room that was furthest away from mine. This was probably arranged so that if I had a bad dream, I would run to someone else before him. Odion and Ishizu were in the small room they shared, and Father's servants all slept in the largest room on floor mats much thinner than my own, aligned like footprints in the dust.

I wondered if she got cold at night the same way I did. Or had bad dreams that kept her awake…

My feet hit the cold stone floor and I folded up my sheet until it was small enough to carry without dragging. I had to stretch up on my toes to reach the lantern Ishizu left outside my bedroom on a chiseled ledge. Tucking my sheet beneath my arm, I twisted the knob to shorten the wick, and the light dimmed to a mere flicker.

My bare feet padded quietly against the freezing stone that even then I had become accustomed to. When I passed the bedrooms, I shaded the lantern with the folded sheet, allowing even less light to spill in and alert anyone who may have been as restless as I was. Once past my father's doorway, though there was no door but instead a blanket to keep out light and cold, I brightened my lantern and walked faster toward the hall where I had been playing earlier.

The darkness was thickest here. It was scary being so far away from the night lanterns. Their oil would only last a few more hours until "daytime." During the day, the torches were lit down every main hall. Only Father had a way to light the first torch via a small surface lighter he carried with him at all times. The only light on this night came from my solitary lantern, so I lengthened the wick and the oil burned bright. It was wasteful, but I turned it down once I had found that passageway once again.

My ball was next to the opening where I had left it as always.

"Hello?" I called into the dark, unsure if she would still be there after the day had finished so many hours ago.

I rocked back on my heels and looked at my ball thoughtfully. I reached for it with my foot and gave it a tentative push with a single toe. An idea struck me and I set down my sheet and my light and kicked the ball, sending it bouncing down the tunnel and disappearing into the inky dark.

I listened as long as I could to the muffled sound of it hitting the ground and rolling through the dirt until it faded away. Then I waited.

It was only several minutes, but it felt like hours to me. I huffed in disappointment and bent to gather up my belongings and leave. It was then that I heard the soft gravelly sound of my ball rolling up into the light. It came to rest between my feet and I laughed happily as I sit down to send it back to my new playmate.

"Your turn!" I bounced it back into the dark.

It came rolling back almost immediately. I laughed and re-sent it back to the woman I knew was sitting there with me. Playing with me.

We must have played with my ball for hours, because my lantern began to flicker and dim even further down. But I was having way too much fun to notice or care about that. The only thing that mattered to me was throwing my ball to the woman and catching it when she rolled it back to me. Back and forth, again and again. Then the light went out completely, and I froze.

It was going to be impossible to walk in the dark. How would I find my way back to my room now? I began thinking of sitting in the hall until Father woke up and began lighting the day torches. Then he'd find me and I'd be yelled at and punished for not staying in my room. Tears stung my eyes and my chin quivered. My hands gripped the ball tighter to my chest as the worry grew painful.

Then I felt cold hands on my face.

"I h-hafta go to m-my room. Father will get mad if I'm-m not there." I sniffled and wiped my eyes with a sleeve.

She didn't say anything back to me, but she took my hand in hers. I smiled and groped for my lantern, and let her lead me. I didn't ask myself how she could see in the dark. I thought she must have been here a long time to know where everything is without a light of any kind. She walked so smoothly, never stumbling. It was almost as if her feet didn't touch the floor. I squeezed her icy fingers with my own and she squeezed back.

Eventually I saw the low but unmistakable twitching of a light up ahead. The rest of the night lanterns were just now dying. Instantly I thought of seeing what the lady looked like and tried to make out her features through squinted eyes. I was only able to make a slight distinction of her height and nothing more. But she was very tall, maybe even more so than Father.

We turned the corner and I saw the barest sparks of the lights aligned against the wall. Save for the last one by Odion and Ishizu's room. It was lit last so it would have the most oil by now since I had used up all of mine. They would all go out in minutes if they made it that long. I reached my hand out to the wall and counted the doorways to my room. One-Fathers…Two-Father's servants…Three-Odion and Ishizu. Then finally mine. I felt her hands take my lamp and replace it on the ledge beside my door.

I hopped into my bed and felt her cover me with my sheet she had carried. Then she tucked me in with her soft, cold hands and stroked my hair. I heard a strained sound, like a whistling or squeaking. Then realized she was humming a lullaby to me. I smiled and sighed, settling into my straw mat and felt her cool hand caress and pet my face until I was quite sleepy.

When I felt her hand leave my forehead I turned my face toward the doorway.

"I don't like the dark," I whispered. "Could you switch my lamp for the one next to it and turn the light up?" There was no response, but I had gotten used to it.

I heard the scrape of the lanterns being switched and a tiny squeal as the knob was twisted to lengthen the wick. The light instantly burned as bright as it could with what little oil it had left. And I saw her fully in my doorway.

She hovered above the stone floor, toes pointed down. I gasped and looked up at her face. Rather, where her face should have been. Her neck was wrenched horribly, and her head was twisted backwards. I heard the whistling sound of her voice, strained through the broken bones of her neck. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I watched as she raised a finger to where her mouth should have been.

"…_sssshhhhhh…"_

Then the oil burned up.


End file.
